Disappointment

It's been a disappointing start to the week. Last Monday (my birthday) I got an email from GC's International Ed director, wanting to know if T and I were interesting in leading the SST unit in Nicaragua in the summer of 2011. I started exploring leading an SST unit last summer after the director had sent out an email seeking people who were interested, and was actually offered the opportunity to lead this unit already once before, back in January I think. At that point I was planning to co-lead with a different person, and after we had talked a lot about it and both seemed ready to move forward, she decided she couldn't commit to the summer of 2011 after all. I was disappointed because I was ready to say yes, but couldn't because it didn't work for the person I was planning on leading with.

Basically the same scenario has repeated itself. After the first person was no longer able to commit to leading SST with me in the future, I sought out another co-leader, another single female faculty member that I thought I would work well with. After talking we decided we would work well together and were both interested in leading a Spanish unit, so we met with the International Ed director and told him we were interesting in leading a Nicaragua SST unit, preferably in 2012. Well, the person that the director was working with for 2011 backed out so he offered us the opportunity to lead the 2011 unit. This was the second time I have been offered this. Again, I personally was ready to say yes to this, especially after meeting with my boss who said that he would "move heaven and earth" to make sure I had the opportunity to lead SST.

However, due to some upcoming budget cuts at GC and possible changes in her job for next year, my co-leader has said she can't commit to leading in 2011. I had to tell the SST director no again today because the timing doesn't work for my co-leader. At this point she is still interested in leading together in 2012 if it would be offered to us. I am very unsure if we will be offered the opportunity for 2012, as I think that Nicaragua is one of the more popular units to lead, and there are several other people who have expressed interest, even though they are having problems finding someone for 2011.

I have heard that leading SST is one of the hardest and best jobs you will ever have. I really would like to have it be part of my GC work experience, and I think it would be a great learning and growing experience for me to live in another country and interact closely with college students for four months. I am really hoping that having to say no twice (when I REALLY) wanted to say yes, doesn't mean that I will never have the opportunity. God must have another plan, and I certainly would like to know what it is! Don't we all?